TranSLATE 1

A hilarious fragment from Cuibul de viespi (Wasps`Nest), a film based on one of Alexandru Kiritescu`s plays. Probably sums up pretty well all one can say about Romanian sense of humour and the Balkan....ehrm....charm. I know it is hard to incorporate all the savory linguistical bits but...here is a somewhat valiant attempt (hopefully):

-You got the braids? Thank heaven and all of the saints! Put them there. And you? Why are you daydreaming? Get a move on…destination: braids! And get the incense burner.
-What incense burner?
-What incense burner? What incense burner? The one we use for the braids! Now go and fetch it for me….WAIT! But don`t get me the wrong one or I`ll use it on your head!
-Alright…
-WAIT!!! Bring some incense too.
-…
-WAIT!!! And make sure you don`t bring some coals instead….WA..
-WAIT! I get it! Don`t patronize me!

-You deserved that, you rascal!
-I`m late because I had to queue.
-Queue…huh? Nein! You be smooching…
-Ma`am?
-Mit soldiers!
-Wha…? You are out of it…
-Insult you me? Gypsy! You little cat! Lazy bones! Ptttt!
-Calm down you two. What`s this all about?
-She should leave me alone, coz I`m an honest girl, not like her… silly old bat!
-Wass? Gehn zum Teufel!

-Requiem it is…but a lucky one!
-Sis…did you write the (remembrance) list?
-I did.
-Read it!
-Ana, Grigore, Tinca….puuuuuuut that down theeeeeeeeeere!....Didina, Tina, Gherghina…
-Don`t stand about to see what an fool she is. She is from Caracal, she can afford it! But you are from Transylvania, right?
-I get this sort of humiliation even in front of the servants!...Balasa, Androne…
-….and all their relatives…I say, let Zamfira know how much you`re worth!
-Tase, Marghioala, Ionicica…
-What? You`ve listed all the boors from Tase`s family? Devil take them! God rest their souls!
-Arghirita, Sofronie, Marita…
-Marita?
-Yep!
-On Margareta`s remembrance list?
-Aham.
-Vanda`s mother…
-Aham.
-Where`s your brain, sis?
-Oh, gosh! You`re right! You`re so right! It`s because of that debauched woman that we got into all this trouble! Ptttt! It`s not within our nature….to curse and all….but she deserves it! May she turn into dust…may God and the virgin Mary turn her into dust!
-I`ve never cursed anyone in my life, and I won`t do it now! But may I see her buried without her shoes on, oh Holy Mother and Saint Filofteia! The Lord gaveth unto us, the Lord taketh!
-What is it?
-Hit my back! Whooooooah…you almost knocked me down!
-Well, you were coughing real bad and…